“There’s No Crying in Publishing!” (and other baseball rules of writing that work for me)

I love writing. I love baseball. And I love the Boston Red Sox. 

These are the truisms that direct my summers. Like most every writer I know, I have a day job—literary agent—and my own writing takes place outside the 50 to 60 hours a week I dedicate to helping other writers get published. In summertime, I work summer hours, just like the rest of the publishing world, which means I cut back to 40 hours a week. And try to get more writing done.

But the trouble with summer is that there is a lot to distract me from my writing:  paddle boarding on the lake, reading on the beach, gin and tonics everywhere.

And baseball. But baseball I find helpful, in that I can apply and/or adapt the philosophies and paradoxes of America’s favorite pastime to my own favorite pastime—and get more work done.

1. “There’s no crying in publishing.” This is what I tell my writer clients and my writing students when they suffer rejection. (I suffer rejection on my clients’ behalf as well as my own for a living.) When the going gets tough, the tough write on. I remind myself to follow my own advice, which as I’m sure you know I stole from Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own.
2.  Make the bed. On the mornings when I make the bed right away, I get down to my work more quickly, and I write more. I don’t know why this is, but I’ve found it to be true. If Jason Giambi can don a gold thong to avoid a slump, well, then I can make the bed. Whatever works.
3.  “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” Yogi Berra said it all first—and funnier. When he said this, he was talking about baseball or life or the baseball life, but for me this advice is the key to a good plot. Whenever I come to a fork in my story, I take it. Plot problem solved.
4.  Bake brownies. Mostly I do this because no matter how pathetic my output, no day is a total waste when the smell of freshly baked brownies fills your studio. And brownies for breakfast is my version of the Popeye’s chicken meal Matt Garza indulges in before every start.
5.  Relax and concentrate. As Annie Savoy tells us in Bull Durham, that’s the secret to making love and hitting a baseball. It works for writing, too: You just have to relax and concentrate.
6.  “I think about baseball when I wake up in the morning. I think about it all day and I dream about it at night. The only time I don’t think about it is when I’m playing it.” That’s what Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski says he always did, and I believe him—and not just because I’m a die-hard Red Sox fan. I want my story to be there, always, on the back burner of my brain—until I sit down to write.
7.  Don’t forget the Seventh-Inning Stretch. Some say we have William Howard Taft to thank for the seventh-inning stretch; others credit Brother Jasper of Mary, F.S.C. of Manhattan College. Still others give the Cincinnati Red Stockings the honor. But no matter who we have to thank, getting up off our duffs after hours of sitting is a good idea. When I’m writing, my seventh-inning stretch usually consists of taking my Newfoundland retriever mix Bear—short for Yogi Berra—for a quick run around the bases.
8.  “Baseball is not life. It is a fiction, a metaphor. And a ballplayer is a man who agrees to uphold that metaphor as though lives were at stake.”  David James Duncan writes this in one of the best baseball novels you may never have read (and should read now), called The Brothers K. Writing isn’t life, either. It just feels that way. But we as writers must agree to uphold that metaphor as though our own lives were at stake.
9.  Keep swinging. That was Hank Aaron’s motto, during good games and bad games, good times and bad times, strike outs and home runs. Win or lose, you keep swinging. Publish or perish, you keep writing.  

Play ball!

NaNoWriMo's Over: Now What?

Okay, so you’ve pounded out a first draft of your new novel, thanks to that intense writing marathon known as NaNoWriMo.

That’s great! Congratulations! But before you drop everything and go looking for an agent or an editor or a publisher to publish your NaNoWriMo masterpiece, STOP!

I know, I know, you turned out 50,000 words and that’s swell. But you’re not ready for prime time yet. Because you are only halfway there.

As I tell writers all the time, over and over again, the people who get published are the people who:

1)      Finish,

and

2) Revise.

So good for you! You finished. Now you have to revise. The good news is, compared to creating an entire story out of the thin air of your imagination, revising is a cinch. In fact, it’s actually fun.

Think of it as decorating. You’ve built the house; now you get to fill it with furniture and books and art and love.

You get to make your house a home. Go for it—and then write that query letter.

For more on revision and query letters, use code PMQHANDS for an extra 20% off:

http://www.writersdigestshop.com/writing-with-quiet-hands-paperbackhttp://www.writersdigestshop.com/writing-with-quiet-hands-paperback

Train Your Brain to Write Better, Faster, Smarter!

For today's blog, I sat down with my pal and client, Susan Reynolds, to pick her brain about her new book, Fire Up Your Writing Brain: How to Use Proven Neuroscience to Become a More Creative, Productive, and Successful Writer. It's a classic every writer should have on his/her shelf: What writer doesn't want to write better, faster, smarter?

     1)  What inspired you to write this book?

I had written two previous books on neuroscience and found the breakthroughs happening in the field intriguing. Because I also love writing with a passion, I wanted to explore the ways writers could use these breakthroughs in neuroscience to become more creative, productive, and successful at their craft. We’ve learned, for example, that your brain has the capacity to develop new neurons throughout your lifetime, and it’s the connectivity—how your neuronal connections communicate—that matters most. Those are two things you can do to grow as a writer: develop new neurons related to writing (and whatever you’re writing about) and bolster connectivity by studying your craft and reading widely on the topic you’re writing about. What you want is to create a vast “small world network” of neurons that are specifically related to writing.

2) You say multitasking is bad for your writing brain. Why is that, and how do you recommend writers kick this habit in today's 24/7 world?

Multitaskers tend to be the staunchest defenders of this practice, proclaiming that they have no problem doing so; but, in reality, your brain can only focus on one task at a time. Even if you think you’re handling two at once, your brain is microscopically shifting from one task to the other, dividing its resources. It is a challenge to single-task in today’s hyper-connected world, but if you want your brain to bring all of its resources to the task of writing, then developing the discipline to turn off your phone, silence the ping that announces emails, and drastically limit distractions will provide your brain the ability to focus at the level needed to do your best work. I have an exercise for increasing concentration, which is done in stages, as research has shown that the more you focus and concentrate on one task (solving the plot puzzle, how best to portray your protagonist’s breakdown), the more your brain will shift into overdrive and deliver even more brainpower. Practicing mindfulness can also be very helpful, as increasing your brain’s ability to ignore distractions and focus solely on what’s happening in the moment bolsters your ability to concentrate while writing.

3) They say sitting is the new smoking--and you tell us in your book that exercise is good for your writing brain. What should writers do to enhance this body/brain connection?

Exercise is crucial to brain functioning and long-term brain health. Both your heart and your brain rely on blood flow and oxygen to function and studies have shown that regular exercise and remaining socially active are the two best salvos against developing dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. If you want your brain to function at peak capacity (and you do!), gift your brain at least ½ hour of exercise each day. Simple walking will make a difference. I also encourage “active sitting,” and provide ways you can combine writing with simple movements, like rolling a ball with your feet while you write. It’s also very wise to get up every hour and move around (throw in a load of laundry, wash your dishes, vacuum the floor, do a few yoga poses), and get plenty of sleep each night. Sleep is also crucial to brain health. Writing is a solitary, sitting-intensive profession, so you have to consciously counteract the negative effects of sitting.

4) You talk about rewarding your writing brain. How does that work?

Two things neuroscientists have discovered are that your brain actively seeks to please you and it responds to rewards. When you feel good, your brain releases and bathes itself in what are called the feel-good chemicals—dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, and others—which is so pleasurable for your brain that it eagerly awaits new opportunities to repeat this experience. Thus, if you cue up reasonable expectations around writing and then reward your brain after each writing session—by pausing to feel good about what you’ve accomplished, and/or by doing something that will awaken your brain’s reward center (going for a walk, savoring a chocolate, enjoying a glass of wine with your beloved, ordering a pair of earrings you’ve been coveting, or something that creates pleasure for you)—your brain will release the feel-good chemicals. It will then seek, anticipate, and enjoy opportunities to repeat that experience. The goal is to “hard-wire” pleasure with writing, which will make writing sessions something both your mind and your brain desire and enjoy.

5) After writing this book, what did you change about your own writing life?

Meditation provides remarkable advantages in prepping your brain for writing sessions, as does brainstorming, and journaling about what you want to write the next day before going to sleep, so I’ve begun doing all of those activities far more often. I’m also far more vigilant about moving around once an hour, and deep breathing to increase circulation and focus. The one major change, however, has been in valuing my own work. Instead of berating myself or feeling frustrated for not accomplishing what I’d hoped to accomplish in a daily writing session, I have replaced those thoughts with positive thoughts and reward my brain by creating positive affirmations (and buying that pair of gold earrings I wanted when I completed edits on the book). It’s a simple perspective tweak that really helps hardwire pleasure to writing, which should be every writer’s goal. 

Amen to that!

For more on Susan, follow her blog on http://fireupyourwritingbrain.com.

QUERIES BY THE NUMBERS (Or, why I haven’t responded to your query letter yet)

Don’t hate me because I’m behind in answering your query. It’s not personal; I have thousands of unread queries in my in-box. Not because I’m lazy or I’m inept or I hate writers—just because I got 1000 queries my first week as an agent and they’ve kept on flooding my in-box ever since.

And I am not alone. In my unofficial survey of agents who actually consider unsolicited queries (not everyone does), I gathered enough data (in an admittedly non-scientific manner) to offer up the following statistics regarding queries. These are the odds you are up against when you send a query:

•      The average agent gets 5,000 to 10,000 queries a year

•      The typical agent represents 30 to 50 clients

•      Which makes the best case scenario in terms of your query resulting in representation: .01% chance

•      And the worst case scenario: .003% chance

What’s the takeaway here? Don’t rely on queries alone. Network with agents, editors, and your fellow writers at conferences and genre association meetings; press your published pals for referrals. Find other means of pitching your work; relying on queries alone is a risky proposition.

And whatever you do, don’t get peeved at publishing professionals who 1) don’t respond; or 2) don’t respond in the way in which you would prefer. Give us a break. We are drowning in inquiries, and we don’t get paid to read queries. We get paid if and when we sell our clients’ work.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some queries to read….

Top Ten Things You Should Never Say to an Agent

1.         I’m calling to tell you about my story.

Don’t query by phone. Or text. Email queries, referrals, and conferences are the best ways to approach an agent. But you should check an agent’s website for submission and query guidelines, and follow those to the letter.

2.         Dear Sir/Madam,

This tells me immediately that you have no idea who I am or what I represent.

3.         Dear Paula Munier,

This tells me immediately that you know how to do a mail merge, but not that you know how to write. For more, see #1.

4.         Dear Paul,

This tells me immediately that you have no idea who I am or what I represent, right down to my name and gender. It also tells me that I can expect a careless manuscript full of typos, inconsistencies, and inaccuracies.

5.         I know you don’t represent “insert genre I don’t represent here,” but mine is different.

Most agents specialize for a reason: Namely, they know what they can sell, and what they can’t. Why would you approach an agent who doesn’t sell what you need selling?

6.         You can sell my 210,000-word story as one big novel or seven 30,000-word books in an epic series.

Ignoring word-count guidelines is the quickest way to discourage any professional from reading your work.  If you don’t know the word-count guidelines for your genre, look it up.

7.         All my beta readers love it.

This is almost the same thing as saying that your mother loves it. For all I know, it could actually be the same thing, as your mother may very well number among your beta readers. This means less than nothing to me, unless your mother and indeed all of your beta readers are bestselling authors in your genre. In which case, you have most definitely buried the lead.

8.         I’ve attached my full manuscript as a word doc.

Agents have overflowing inboxes. And attachments can be computer viruses waiting to happen.  Do not include any attachments in your queries unless specifically requested to do so.

9.         I’ve attached my entire manuscript as a pdf.

Microsoft Word documents are the industry standard. Submitting a pdf screams paranoid aspiring amateur author and/or (perhaps justifiably) paranoid screenwriter turned novelist. Neither (necessarily) inspires confidence.

10.      Here’s my book on a flash drive for you.

Save your time and money. Flash drives may be lighter than hard copies, but they are just as likely to get lost or tossed.

Post Script: It goes without saying—but it happens often enough that I’m going to say it—that you should never insult the publishing professionals you meet on your quest to get published, agents included.  It’s a small world, and what goes around comes around. I’m just sayin.’

Top Ten Lessons Writers Can Learn from Mad Men

1. Go epic or go home.
2. Ground your story in time and place.
3.  Let the girl who can't find love find it right under her nose. 
4.  When your heroine must choose one thing or another, let her figure out that there's always a third option that may let her live her life on her own terms.
5. Never underestimate the power of a French woman.
6. To paraphrase Chekhov, if there's a (smoking, smoking, smoking) gun on the wall in Act One, someone better die of lung cancer by Act Three.
7. Every story needs a trickster named Roger.
8. Sometimes, in story as in life, the most annoying character gets to fly off into the horizon in a Lear jet.
9. Give your hero his “om”  epiphany.
10. End with theme. It gets them every time.

Copyright Paula Muiner 2015

The 90,000-word Sweet Spot

Right now, when it comes to word count, it's all about 90,000 words. Virtually every book I try to shop by a debut author that's any longer than that--regardless of category--receives the same response from editors. In short, it's just too long. "No more than 90,000 words" seems to be the editor's mantra these days. So I've asked several of my clients shorten their stories--and am happy to say that we've won contracts when I shopped the shortened versions, often to the same editors who complained about the length of the original stories.

How to reach that 90,000-word sweet spot? Here's a neat trick I came up with that's proved useful for my clients and that may work for you as well.

Here's how 90,000 words (which is 360 pages at 250 words per page) breaks down by act:

Act One: 90 pages (22,500 words)

Act Two: 180 pages (45,000 words)

Act Three: 90 pages (22,500 words)

With that in mind, write out your  basic storyline in Major Plot Points only: Inciting Incident, Plot Point 1, Mid-Point, Plot Point 2, Denouement.  (If you need more information on plot points, take a look at my book Plot Perfect. )

Now, using the word counts by act as a general guideline, cut anything you can cut to the word counts outlined above. Anything that does not get you from plot point to plot point MUST GO.

Happy cutting!

Copyright Paula Munier 2014